Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
