I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
