Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
