he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
