Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
