So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
