UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My liver just had a heart attack.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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