Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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