It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
