Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
