he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
