i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
