i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
