Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize