Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
