this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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