Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
