Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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