if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
