? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We just shotgunned beers for America
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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