I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
