So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
