Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
