dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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