Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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