Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
