he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
