He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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