Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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