My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
