I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Randomize
