Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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