I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Hippo gnu deer
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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