im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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