Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
