You work out of a Hotel?
oh god the rape fog is back!
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
