Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
