porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
