did you get engaged???
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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