Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize