i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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