So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he thought i was a dude.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
