Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
