is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
