about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
