Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize