Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
