I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
