remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
