yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Is it penis luge time yet?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I have already put on my inside pants.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
