did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
