You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
