Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
