drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It was a blind-side dick pic.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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