I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
