I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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