Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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