Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize