And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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