Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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