hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
