i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
