he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
